Toxicity
by imalionrawr010
Summary: Olivia cannot help her feelings towards Elliot. Elliot doesn't want to help how he feels. Post Stabler divorce.
1. Chapter 1

**New story, figured I'd give the ever famous Elliot and Olivia pairing a try c: Tell me what you think. I don't own any SVU materials, characters, ideas, zilch. Enjoy.**

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><p><strong>Chapter one<strong>

Elliot Sabler was not a man who talked about his personal life at work. It wasn't anyone's business and he didn't always feel like talking about his four kids and wife. Life wasn't always easy for the ex Marine, but he did what he could to make things work. Especially now that everything had flipped upside down. Kathy had left him and visiting with the kids was not only a pain in the ass to set up, but awkward.

He didn't understand. After twenty years of marriage, four kids, and even a frightful suspension, why was she now leaving him? Hadn't he been faithful enough? Didn't he enlist in the Marines for Kathy and their new born daughter, so that he could pay the bills? And after he left the Marines, he joined the police force. Elliot thought that by becoming a cop, Kathy would be pleased that he could put his Marine training to use. He thought Kathy wanted to be protected.

And then Kathleen was born. Money got tighter and stress levels arose. However, the only one in the family who wasn't aggrivated after precious gift number two was Maureen. The tot had been so excited about having a sister. She loved to play dress up and house with the new baby. Elliot couldn't help but adore his oldest daughter as she would stomp around the house in her mother's heels, pushing a toy stroller with her younger sister strapped in. Kathleen didn't seem to mind when Maureen used mommy's lipstick and eyeshadow on her.

The twins, Elizabeth and Richard, came later and the stress levels hightened. Elliot thought taking care of one baby in the middle of the night was tough. But two infants? He pittied the people who had more than two children wailing in the middle of the night. But again, his oldest children were happy about having living dolls. Maureen and Kathleen liked to play mommy and daddy while Lizzie was "their" child and Dickie played the part of their dog. Elliot didn't blame them; even pretending to be first time parents, his daughters knew having twins was not easy.

Years later, Officer Stabler was promoted to Detective Stabler and transferred to the Special Victims Unit. The other officers in his old unit called SVU the Panty Police and Elliot had to admitt, they were somewhat right. Two dectectives in the SVU unit, John Munch and Brian Cassidy, warmly welcomed him became friends rather quickly. He didn't like seeing women women come in, claiming that thier husbands took advantage of them or that their boyfriends raped them. But the cases he hated most, were the ones that involved children. Murdered, sodomized, raped. No child - no human being - should ever be put through something like that.

Two things kept him from going crazy; his wonderful, and amazing family. They always seemed to understand what kind of pressure he was under at work and didn't appear to be bothered by his late hours. And then there was his partner, Olivia Benson. She was tall, tawny haired, slender, and beautiful. Olivia was everything Elliot wasn't; she was kind when people needed a sister, a friend, or a mother, tough when someone wouldn't crack, and she stood up for what she believed in. Elliot was all Marine. However, despite how tough he was, he had only collected one complaint that was later retracted. Olivia was a tough cookie and she was suited to be in the police force. She was so headstrong, she only had one active restraint order on her. But he was married, and Elliot chose his family over satisfaction. Wasn't that enough for Kathy?


	2. Chapter 2

**This one's a lot longer than Elliot's chapter, but wither way, I hope you guy really like it. ANd for those who read, reviewed, favorited, and subscribed, thank you :D it's really nice to know that you guys like what I write. I don't own any SVU material or characters. Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter two<strong>

Olivia Benson loved her job. It was her whole life. She was allowed to take down men and women who hurt children and each other. Her childhood and teenage years were filled with daily beatings and blows to her self-esteem. For her, becoming a cop ment protecting countless others from torment she had been subjected to.

How she hated when her mother would get drunk and slap her around. She hated being reminded on a daily basis that she was an unwanted rape baby. As if it was her fault that her mother had been brutally attacked and gotten knocked up. It never made sense to Oliva; if her mother hadn't wanted her so bad, couldn't she have just given her rape baby to a couple who couldn't have one? Or maybe she could have given Olivia to an orphanage. When Olivia would point this out to her mother during everyone of their fights, her mother would break down and claim that she couldn't give up something that was part of her.

She grew up in the shadows of her classrooms, always hiding the bruises and cuts that was given to her by mama Benson. How badly she wanted to play with the other children at reccess. But she never could; the bruised knees and and sore ribs kept her from wanting to run with her friends and laugh at their jokes. In high school, Olivia stuck to jeans and longsleeved shirts, even in the heat of the summer. She hated that she couldn't wear the skirts, shorts, dresses, and tops that stocked the closets and dressers of her peers. Althrough her grade school years she wished someone, anyone, would notice her pain. It wasn't fair that she had to live through the abuse while her friends lived in ignorance about what true pain was.

College ment she was free. Olivia lived in the dorms, finally out of her mother's drunken sights. For her, college was as easy as high school. All she had to do was pay attention and do her work to the best of her abilities. She did well and didn't ever have to stay up too late for studying. Finally free of bruises, Olivia wore all the skirts, shorts, tops, and dresses she could afford on a college student's budget.

Her career choice after college was obvious. She picked the police force. Her mother and countless others told her that her decision was stupid; there was no money in law enforcement. Olivia didn't care. For her, it wasn't about the money. It was about giving help to those who needed it.

As an officer, Olivia did well. She helped dectectives with solving cases, when they needed the assistance, and was generally liked by most of her coworkers in the unit. The only thing she disliked about being a cop was handing out tickets and traffic stops. Most of the traffic stops involved DUI's. Olivia had no patience for drunks. But she stuck it out, and in a few years, Olivia was promoted to detective and moved to SVU.

Detectives John Munch and Brian Cassidy were the first two people she met in the unit after Captain Cragen. She liked the quirky attitude of Munch while Cassidy's naivete made her roll her eyes. Her partner, Elliot Stabler, was another story. Although he was kind to her and a visibly good husband and father, Olivia thought he was an ass.

He roughed up suspects to get the truth and intimidated vicitims to get their stories. Elliot was often rude and extremely unorthodox. But what could she say? He was a good cop. And a good friend.

When Olivia slept with Cassidy after having a few drinks, she had told Elliot the next day. She admitted that she didn't want to date him seriously and that it was just a drunken fling. Relief had swept over her when Elliot assured her that if she needed it, he would back her up. She was young, she deserved to have a little fun considering her line of work. And when Olivia rejected Cassidy, she thought that she was going to have to take up Elliot's offer. But Cassidy left SVU for narcotics and she was relieved once again.

She saw Elliot in a different light after she had been stalked by a violent man. Olivia hated that she thought she was now having feelings for him. He couldn't reciprocate her feelings, she knew that; he was married. Elliot and Kathy were happy with their four children and their comfy home in Queens. Or so she thought.

Olivia had no idea about how bad it had gotten at the Stabler house. Kathy was increasingly annoyed that Elliot stayed later and later at the precinct and hardly ever came home. But now that Olivia knew, she understood why he had been so withdrawn that week. Olivia felt awful and blamed herself in the weirdest way. She thought that perhaps Kathy thought Elliot was cheating with herself. Despite what the facts were, and that she knew that it had nothing to do with her, she couldn't help but feel bad.

She sat at her desk, finished with all her paperwork. Elliot, however, was taking forever to finish his. He always took an abnormally long time to file, but now that he was having problems at home, he could barely focus on eating his breakfast. Oliva wished there was something that she could do for her partner. Usually, Olivia would wait for him to finish his work so they could leave together. But tonight, he was taking way too long.

"I'm going to call it a night," Olivia stood and went to her locker. "How's your paperwork going?"

Elliot grunted. "Not good. I can't stop thinking about my kids. And Kathy."

"Why don't you finish up and you and I can grab a pizza?" Olivia offered, hoping he would accept.

"Nah," He shook his head. "Dicky's coming over tomorrow, gotta clean up the house."

Olivia chuckled, but couldn't stop her heart from sinking. "Can't having it look like a batchelor's pad, can we? Well, I'll see you tomorrow. Tell Dicky I said hi."

As she put on her jacket, Olivia turned to head for the elevator. Before she got into the lift, she remembered that she hadn't picked up her keys. She trotted back to her desk and opened the drawer where she usually kept the keys hidden. Elliot barely seemed to notice her return. Once she got her keys, Olivia turned back to the elevator.

"Night, Liv." Elliot called.

Olivia halted in her tracks and spun around. Her partner was still looking down at his paperwork. As if he hadn't said anything at all.

"Goodnight, Elliot." She purred.

He didn't often call her Liv, but she couldn't help but feel butterflies when he did. Olivia liked hearing her name, but when it came from the lips of Elliot Stabler, she just couldn't help but smile. Outside of the precinct, Olivia hailed a cab. Considering the time of night, she was surprised that one actually stopped for her.

Once she told the cabbie her address, he gently pulled away from the curb and joined with the rest of late night traffic. With every building they passed Olivia wondered the exact distance they were from the precinct. Five hundred feet? Six hundred and eighty-two? They were all just guesses to Olivia. In the silence of the cab, she wished Elliot had taken her up on the pizza offer.

There was a small vibration in her jacket pocket. Olivia knew the vibration to be her cell phone and struggled against the seat belt to retrieve it. She hoped it was Elliot, changing his mind about pizza. Much to her dismay, it was Munch. With a groan she flipped her phone open and put it to her ear. Her heart sunk further as he told her she was needed at a scene. She asked if her could call Fin or Elliot, but John was insistant. After hanging up with the other dectective, she asked the cabbie to go to the address John had just given her.

With an exasperated sigh, Olivia sunk into the back of the seat. The cabbie went a little faster now, knowing that she had to get to a crime scene. Olivia closed her eyes for a brief moment; she was too tired to take care of another crying and sensitive victim. Olivia really just wanted to sleep. As she drifted out of conscience in the back of the cab, she swore she heard Elliot's voice calling to her.

"Miss, we're at the address." The voice she had thought was Elliot's turned out to be the cabbie's. Olivia moodily paid the man and jumped out of the cab. Flashing her badge, she entered the foyer of the apartment building where the crime was committed. As Olivia rode the elevator to the floor where Munch was waiting, her mood soured drastically. She frowned when the elevator stopped. The dectective hadn't slept in a day or two, this had better be good.


End file.
